June Ride Report
There was movement at The Station, for the word had passed around, that a colt called Cacka was about to lead the Mongrels astray.
Well……not so much a colt anymore, but a newly branded Poppy Cacka, after the previous days arrival of his first grandchild, had a very large herd of skittish Mongrel riders corralled at the Fort waiting in anticipation of what lay ahead.
As requested by Morton, many came armed not just with bike but a variety of navigational devices just in case Poppy Cacka’s well known lack of direction and leadership skills brought the peleton unstuck.
After a few encouraging words from the Mongrel’s spiritual leader Billy, mostly about his own ambitions and fitness level, a new pack of Mongrels (too many to remember names) made their introductions and were greeted by the now common howwwllll. Quite a few, as noted by the Smiling Assassin, looked very fast in the thoroughbred mould and stripped ready in clinging lycra. Let’s see how they go in the bush was the Assassin’s comment.
Notable new riders were two Mini Mongrels Liam Neild, Son of Stan – more on that father son pair later, and Kyle’s nephew Lachlan. Both looked keen, kitted up and ready to ride. Generation next had arrived! Ray “Wolf” Ansell made a welcome return after a few months wandering with the night rider pack. Kerry Hile, another returning rider after an absence made it known later in the day that Wolf hadn’t smartened up his act any after being caught taking a comfort stop in the open at Pig Mountain. Word has it that Wolf was marking his territory and leaving his scent / arrow in the dirt for any lost Mongrels to follow.
Once on the bikes with the directionless leader safely in the pack, the crew headed along some nice but familiar tracks toward the HEZ with a variety of riders taking on the leaders role. Pup was leading the way till a log on the track mangled his derailleur, but thanks to the fast work of Laurie, was able to ride on. Recon Don took over at the front with Poppy Cacka delivering his orders from the back. Something that he won’t want to get used to as said role of ordering from the Powder Room belongs solely to The Babbler. As regular riders know, The Babbler has mastered the art of puppetry from the back, and is very good at pulling the strings of other riders to suit his own needs.
With the very large peleton enjoying the trails through the HEZ area towards the smelly dog houses where Deena and Tony Martin waited with refreshments, talk turned to the absence once again of the Captain and Morton. After returning from their European holiday, both were expected to show. New Grandad Morton (congratulations) and the Captain were in attendance at Tewie’s 50th birthday the previous night and seemed to have been unable to make the 8am deadline. Morton did show for lunch and afternoon beers but couldn’t vouch for the whereabouts of The Captain. Apparently he was last seen at 1am in King Street Newcastle proclaiming his love of Australia and the abundance of free toilets found in this great land after struggling with his weak bladder in Europe.
After fruit and drinks at stop one, the crew rode on happily in the direction of Kearsley for a rendezvous with what could have become the downfall of the ride captain Poppy Cacka if the mutiny brewing gained any more momentum. Many didn’t understand the need to ride up a hill, go down and then back up again to end up back in the same spot. But we did, with Baz “More Refreshments” Crawley and Cacka in front taking on a nice single track downhill before the grinding climb back to the top.
Absent from this leg of the ride was Stan, who it must be said, was being thoroughly out ridden by his young Mini Mongrel son Liam on his first outing. Stan was heard to be moaning at stop one something about sore legs from soccer on Friday night, a matching headache and the lack of Nurofen on the ride. Poor baby…….In the words of the great Doola, poor preparation equals piss poor performance. To make matters worse, the usual pushee, that being Billy pushed up hills by Tony Martin became the pusher. Much to Stan’s humiliation, Billy was seen to casually ride up to him, place his hand on Stan’s back and give him a helping push up a slight incline. Training rides Thursdays and Saturdays Stan!!!
Once his command of the ride was confirmed, Poppy Cacka led the pack along some very wet but fun tracks towards Cessnock with everyone enjoying themselves and getting quite dirty. None more so than Polly, or Kermit the frog, thanks to his wonderful lime green ride shirt. Great high vis gear!!! Kermit seemed to love playing in his natural habitat of clay, mud, dirt and water, much to the amusement of those witnessing his day on the bike. Or should that be off the bike. For a man who loves keeping stats, Polly sure was racking them up. According to a good source, Polly dismounted 5 times.
Leaving the bush behind, the pack as usual turned into a bit of a rabble as riders headed towards the dump for the final bush leg back to Neath then the Fort. Leadership and direction was lacking as the cornering system almost fell apart through the back streets Cessnock. The Smiling Assassin and those in the Powder Room being comforted by the Good Shepherd made sure all were safe. Well done men. The track through the dump was nice and winding and led to a great downhill with some nice jumps that finish at Colliery house at Neath. From here most of the riders headed for the Fort and a well earned beer and feed. Speaking of which, word has it that Recon, Disco Don had run out of petrol and snuck off up the road in search of sustenance to get him home. A dodgy sausage roll did the trick according to the boys at the Neath having a beer because apparently Don had enough energy to let fly that no one had bought him a beer on his arrival. Don’s lack of sausage roll reciprocation for the boys was noted by those present. Strop was heard to mumble “Special” as Don rode away in a huff.
Back at the Fort, lunch, drinks and good times were enjoyed by all who had the time to stay for a while. The final raffle was drawn bringing the Breast Cancer fundraiser amount to around $25000. A fantastic effort by all involved.
Very special thanks goes to Jackie for all that she has done. All friends and Mongrels are proud of you, Cacka and your families fight to overcome the obstacles faced recently.
Raffle Prizes Bike won by Britto
(Raffle will be re run in a years time according to some Mongrels. Prize will be one seldom used but dusty Merida. Kindly donated by Britto.)
Chad Reed shirt won by George Short, Jackie’s dad.
Cacka was very excited and heard gibbering that it will be proudly displayed forever.
12 bottles of wine won by Louise Bennett.
Dave was heard to be negotiating a swap for 12 cans of Couger.
3 Largies won by Doola.
Largies and Doola go well together.
Cheers
Pup
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